It was a beautiful day on the hill. The sun shone from the
clouds after the rain and the breeze felt cool. The green looked lush and gay
on the trees as they swayed with the wind. The leaves rustled and crickets
chirped.
Her face, though, still seemed to reflect the gloom of the
grey clouds. She sat on the top step of the Amphitheater, but felt like she had hit rock bottom. Her
eyes still rained a little, as she sat at her favorite place on the hill,
completely alone. She loved how she could see the city from up here. On happier
days it felt like she could fit all those tiny cars in her hand and shut one
eye and place her hand in the air as if the sun was contained in the circle of
thumb and her fingers.
But, not today.
Her fingers ran over her phone in her lap. She seemed to be
struggling with herself. Then it seemed like a part of her won and she reached
for the phone and opened the last text message.
*You’ll understand when you are older. Your father and I
have taken this decision after a lot of thought. It’s for the best.*
She ran her finger over each line, reading the words had
just put unbridgeable schism in her world. Just like that. The wind seemed to
fall quiet as a dry sob echoed in the amphitheater. She angrily wiped her
cheeks and exited the text message. Missed calls from the entire day filled her
call log. Her hand trembled as she kept the phone face down beside her, and
then it joined the other one in her lap, fingers twisting together.
Her head came up with a jerk when she heard scuffling and
squeaking behind her. Why, it was Scamper, the stray dog. He saw her and let
out a whine. As he scuttled towards his favorite human, she turned away and
looked at the city below. On days when she bounded through her days like a
light-hearted breeze, and her eyes twinkled like the lights she saw below, she
would have smiled and played with him.
But, not today.
She got up and she stamped her foot and yelled to scare him
away. “Not today!” she screamed. Her voice echoed from everywhere but she didn’t
care as hot tears began to spill down her cheeks. Scamper stopped in his tracks
with a jerk, his furiously wagging tail losing gusto and becoming limper as she
continued to shout at him.
His eyes and hesitating steps showed the confusion that was
probably in her head.
Finally, she stopped. Her hand gripped her throat as her
chest rose and fell rapidly. He still stood there, watching her warily. Her
knees gave in and she fell into kneeling position. Dry sobs escaped her throat
and her head hung low. The city, the sky, the wind, the music – things that she
loved and felt right here, now felt so far away.
Tentatively, Scamper came closer to her. As she lifted her
hand to wipe her tears, Scamper winced, thinking the hand would land on him, as
so many others had before.
But never hers. Not even today.
Scamper nudged the side of her face with his muzzle. He
trotted around her and licked her limp hand. She did not respond. What was
wrong? He then stood right in front of her, tentatively wagging his tail, coming
closer to her with unsure steps. He could tell something was wrong.
She looked up and saw his eyes at level with her face –
looking, searching.
Then she put her arms around his neck and buried her face in
her hands. With loud, cathartic sobs, she found the release that had been choking her throat so far. Scamper stood there, and
then without moving, he sat down, letting her hold him and cry – not
understanding why, but still being solidly there. She continued to cry as the
sun set disappearing into the horizon, finally feeling some warmth at someone
not asking questions, because there were so many in her head.
She held her dog and wept, while her phone lay face down and
flashed with *Ma calling*
But, not today.
